2:38 am, 2/7/20 i feel incomplete. nothing makes me happy anymore. i thought i was getting better but i still feel emotionless inside. i cant keep doing this, i want everything to end. i try to hide everything and distract myself by meeting new people but that can only go so far. no matter what i do, im still going to be the pathetic, disgusting person ive always been. i was never meant to be a part of this world.
2:39 am, 11/2/19
i wish he would like me back. he seemed rly into me at first but he just never responds and it rly makes me sad. i dont know if im jus not interesting enough or if he likes someone else or if im not particularly attractive to him but he told me he was fascinated by me. why do boys always lie to me? why do boys always make me believe they like me then leave? i wish i wasnt myself, i want to be someone else. i wish someone could love me for who i am. i wish i was enough.
2:44 pm, 10/22/18
I havent really had a reason to post on here again until now, which is depressing but i got catfished. i'm not even sad it happened though like yea i shouldnt fuck with internet guys but idk man he just seemed different. but anyways after him showing hella red flags i was finally just like "bro are you a catfish" and he was just like yea i am BUT i found the guy he was catfishing as. The only thing is i tried to talk to the real guy and he seemed really into me at first and he just started responding less and less which makes me extremely sad because im not really into anyone else. its more of a "could of been" situation and i wish it wasnt like that.
i know it seems like i only rly talk to shitty guys n stuff but maybe im just unlucky with the guys im interested in and i wish i was someone else.
3:10 pm, 9/11/19
I dont understand why people want to force their nudes onto me since im 18 now and i tell them im not interested. Like, imagine being so much of a disgusting person u think its ok to be like "hehe i want you to rate my nudes DESPITE u telling me u have a bf/someone youre talking to" fuck off that shit is so fucking disgusting why do u want a random girl on the internet to rate your shitty nudes even after they act like they CLEARLY dont want them and ESPECIALLY SINCE SAID PERSON HAS KNOWN ME SINCE I WAS 12 boys are fucking disgusting and it makes me ashamed that im a female because all guys view me as is something to get sexual shit out of. i hope they all die.
7:26 am, 8/24/19
All boys ever do to me is lie to me and use me and i wish i wasn't so forgiving. Even though its been like a month since me and my ex last spoke i just found out he was lying to me and considered me one of his "whores" to rub in some random girls face that he could get other girls. i literally fucking hate him so much, all he is is just some cute boy on the internet with a shitty personality and a god complex and its fucking embarrassing that i even wanted to be with him again. i dont understand why he thought that would be okay to do??? i regret ever meeting him and i wish i could take back all the time i spend talking to him. hes fucking toxic to everyone he talks to and constantly told me to cut off people because he thought they werent "good for me" but he emotionally abused me and leaked other girls nudes???? its not matching up. i genuinely believe hes never going to change and hes going to end up alone once everyone realizes hes a shitty person. i feel nothing towards him anymore
2:51 pm, 8/22/19
i'm so sad right now. All everyone does is abuse my friendship and hurt me. Someone that i was once close to hurt me and use an old addiction against me while spreading false shit about me. I dont understand what i've done to make him hate me. I'm genuinely so heartbroken and i can't believe that he's stooping this low to attack me on random people's posts and accusing me of stuff that i've never done when all ive ever done was support him and try to help him.
2:58 pm, 8/21/19
everything and everybody is annoying the fuck out of me, i literally just want to be alone and people keep messaging me and EXPECTING me to respond despite me saying i dont want to talk right now. I dont owe anyone shit especially responses so i dont understand why they feel like theyre entitled to it, more specifically @ the people that only talk to me for sex. I hate these kind of people and i hope that they realize im not into them and theyll leave me alone, the only person i genuinely want to talk to is my ex but he hates me so id rather be alone than talk to gross disgusting people that oversexualize me.
8:47 pm, 8/19/19
im never going to get over you, i wish i never met you. not a day goes by where i dont think about you and everything you told me. How you lied to me and made me believe you actually liked me back, i felt happy for the first time in so long, no one can replace you in my heart. Our time together was short but youre impacted me more than anyone else has. I'm sorry i didnt matter as much to you as you mattered to me, im sorry i treated you like i treated everyone else, im sorry i acted like i didnt care about you. I loved you since the first moment we spoke. I will always remember you, no matter how much you hurt me
4:10 am, 8/3/19
i thought i was over being sad and venting on a site but here i fucking am again!! i feel so fucking empty rn i literally dont know what to do i want to die nothing is making me feel better i wish i was dead im so fucking sad i wish i could stop disappointing everyone i know i feel like everyone hates me and i cant stop myself from fucking up i hurt everyone and im only going to get worse and worse
8:28 pm, 8/18/19
i thought i was done using this but im still rly mentally and emotionally unstable and my bad dreams are coming back n idk what to do. i met this boy that rly wants to be my friend though and im jus so mentaly exhausted idk if i can do this anymore. i wanna b alone. everyone eventually leaves me
2:44 am, 7/16/19
im fucking going crazy rn i cant do this shit anymore i dont want to fucking exist i genuinely feel like im never EVER going to get over him and im going to constantly go back to him i wish i was dead i wish i didnt feel like i needed him i wish i didnt feel like i need to cut to forget about him im literally going to cry i just want to die i cant keep thinking about him i wish he never existed i wish i never met him i fucking hate him i fucking hate him i fucking hate him
3:20 am, 7/15/19
i dont know what happiness feels like anymore, i would do anything to just feel alive again. im not fucking okay, like sure i can always laugh with everyone and pretend im fine but it only comes in short bursts, then i feel empty again. i wish i wasnt like this, i wish i could feel better, i wish i was normal like everyone else